06/01/2026

Gauging a Client’s Window of Tolerance in the Context of Job Loss Associated Grief

By Millicent N. Simmelink

A multitude of social, economic and political factors, combined with innovative, dynamic technologies, are driving the transformation of who, what, where, when and why people work. Anyone in any organization, job or career field is potentially at risk of losing their job as organizations continue to adapt. According to the 2025 Work in America survey, 65% of employees aged 26 to 43 identified job insecurity as a major source of stress. This proportion increased to 75% among individuals aged 18 to 25 (American Psychological Association, 2025; Weir, 2026). Employees impacted by a job loss, whether anticipated or not, are at risk for job loss associated grief (Simmelink, 2009).  In some cases, the grief may be complicated by other types of losses or stressful life events such as divorce, death of a loved one, challenging health, financial or relationship issues that coincide with the job loss (Simmelink, 2009). People often experience shock, denial, anger, bargaining, or depression before reaching acceptance with any type of loss, including a job loss (Del Corso, 2016; Kubler-Ross & Kessler, 2014; Simmelink, 2009). Because everyone who works is vulnerable, career practitioners must be prepared to support clients who face the emotional distress and disruption of job loss.

The Impact of Job Loss Associated Grief

Practitioners who understand the complexities of grief further enhance their ability to support a client’s overall well-being when the client slips out of their window of tolerance due to a job loss. Job loss ranks among the top ten most stressful life events according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (McLeod, 2023). Grieving is a nonlinear process; even after regaining balance, memories or thoughts can reactivate grief stages—from shock and denial to anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and even meaning-making—sometimes requiring renewed coping efforts (Kessler, 2019; Simmelink, 2009). By educating clients about grieving and offering holistic strategies to reestablish their window of tolerance, career practitioners empower individuals to manage their life-work transition with self-kindness and resilience.

Window of Tolerance Defined

The window of tolerance, a term from Daniel J. Siegel M.D., refers to the optimal emotional state where people can think clearly, manage emotions, and interact well (Wright, 2022). The prefrontal cortex in the brain supports decision-making, empathy, and impulse control during this state. When unexpected or traumatic events happen, such as job loss, the window of tolerance is disrupted, causing shifts into hyper-arousal or hypo-arousal depending on the individual’s response (Neff, 2022).

Hyper-Arousal

Hyper-arousal occurs when the sympathetic nervous system, one of the two main branches of the autonomic nervous system, activates, triggering a fight-or-flight response (Neff, 2025). People in this state are hypervigilant and energetic, but they may also experience anxiety and reactiveness.

Hypo-Arousal

Unlike the fight or flight stress response, hypo-arousal is when the parasympathetic nervous system, the other main branch, slows down to guard against overstimulation (Mindset Explained, n.d.). This state can cause fatigue, numbness, disconnection, or even dissociation in extreme cases (Mindset Explained, n.d.). Differing from full-body immobilization when one freezes, this response focuses on energy conservation during times of overwhelming stress. Prolonged stress, such as job loss, can lead to hypo-arousal, making individuals feel unmotivated or stuck.

The Career Practitioner’s Role: Providing Understanding and Support

A solid understanding of the mental, emotional and physiological signs of hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal allows career practitioners to better support clients coping with the stress of job loss associated with grief. By actively listening and encouraging self-compassion, practitioners can help clients process their grief and build resilience. Collaboratively identifying challenges and crafting actionable plans that are tailored to each client’s emotional state fosters a supportive environment in which clients feel heard and empowered. Career practitioners must pay close attention to clients’ descriptions of their triggers, feelings, and perceived obstacles if they are to recommend suitable interventions. Adopting this approach helps to restore emotional stability and equips individuals to manage their grief and distress throughout their career transition.

Interventions for Restoring Windows of Tolerance

Clients experiencing either hyper-arousal or hypo-arousal need practical interventions that they can use immediately to help rebalance their emotional instability. Several evidence-based practices are effective in regulating hyper-arousal. The following approaches can be combined or used alone depending on what best suits the client’s needs.

1. Relaxation Techniques--deep breathing methods like diaphragmatic breathing foster calmness, while progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery ease internal tensions (Joseph, 2009; Mindset Explained, n.d.; Simmelink, 2023).
2. Meditation--mindfulness meditation helps to slow racing thoughts and restore emotional balance (Joseph, 2009; Mindset Explained, n.d.; Simmelink, 2023). Insight Timer is a free meditation app for calming the mind, managing stress, reducing anxiety, promoting sleep and relaxation and for improving happiness.
3. Grounding Techniques—such as touching various textures, holding objects, or interacting with animals provide multi-sensory pathways to tranquility (Mindset Explained, n.d.).
4. Imaginative Activities-- like writing an unsent letter to someone involved in the job loss or imagining a conversation with that person can aid in releasing anger and easing acceptance (Joseph, 2009).
5. Physical Activities--engaging in physical exercise, whether walking, running, yoga, dancing, swimming, or sports, channels excess energy positively and promotes focus and self-regulation (Mindset Explained, n.d.).

The following approaches can help clients in hypo-arousal regain emotional stability. When the window of tolerance narrows, these evidence-based tools support healthy grief processing and ongoing progress.

1. Gentle Physical Activity— moderate walking or stretching can awaken both the body and mind (Mindset Explained, n.d.).
2. Sensory Stimulation--splashing cold water on the face or taking a cold shower when feeling low, numb or fatigued (Mindset Explained, n.d.).
3. Energizing Techniques--listening to uplifting music, or socializing with others (Mindset Explained, n.d.)
4. Self-Regulation Breathwork--focused breathing exercises like smelling the flowers, blowing out the candles, improve alertness and help to release negative emotions (Joseph, 2009; Mindset Explained, n.d.; Simmelink, 2023).
5. Mindful Meditation--practices like the S.T.O.P. meditation (S-Stop, T-Take a breath, O-Observe what’s happening, P-Proceed with kindness) address anxiety and negative thought patterns (Simmelink, 2023).

Authentic Relationships Support Meaningful Change

Job loss can disrupt emotional balance and coping abilities. It is essential for career practitioners to assess a client's tolerance and understand their emotions during distress. Career practitioners help clients manage job loss by recognizing and respecting each person's unique window of tolerance and by offering evidence-based practices to regain emotional stability. This approach builds authentic relationships that support meaningful change.

 

References

American Psychological Association. (2025, May). Majority of U.S. workers say job insecurity has significant impact on their stress: Highlights from the 2025 work in America survey. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/work-in-america/2025 

Del Corso, J. (2026). When career assessments are not enough: Helping clients after an unexpected career transition. Career Convergence. https://www.ncda.org/aws/NCDA/pt/show_detail/121511?layout_name=layout_details&model_name=news_article 

Joseph, L.  (2009). The job loss recovery program guide: The ultimate visualization system for landing a great job now.  Discovery Dynamics, Inc.

Kessler, D. (2019). Finding meaning: The sixth stage of grief. Scribner.

Kubler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2014). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Scribner.

McLeod, S. (2023, November 9). Social Readjustment Rating Scale.  Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/srrs.html 

Mindset Explained. (n.d.). Hypo-arousal and hyper-arousal: Nervous system dysregulation. Retrieved December 1, 2025. https://mindsetexplained.com/hypo-arousal-and-hyper-arousal-nervous-system-dysregulation/ 

Neff, M. A. (2022, December 21). Hypoarousal vs. hyperarousal: How to Recognize your nervous state. Neurodivergent Insights. https://www.neurodivergentinsights.com/hypoarousal-hyperarousal 

Simmelink, M. (2023). Set your sails to reach!  A mindful approach to envisioning your potential and navigating your career. BookBaby.

Weir, K. (2026, January 1). Workers are facing an age of uncertainty: Psychological insights help workplaces reeling from economic vulnerability, sweeping policy changes, and the AI revolution. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2026/01-02/trends-work-uncertainty 

Wright, A.  (2022, January 23). What is the window of tolerance and why is it so important?  https://anniewright.com/window-of-tolerance/ 

 

 

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Millicent N. Simmelink, Ed.D., LPC, is the founder and Chief Engagement Officer at Career Links LLC in Cleveland Ohio. A leading provider of career development and outplacement services for over 35 years, she uses a holistic client-centered approach to help her clients mindfully envision their awesome potential and navigate the ever-changing world of work. She has been an adjunct faculty member in Clinical Mental Health at John Carroll University teaching Career Development Theory and Vocational Assessment, the Assistant Director of Career Development at Oberlin College and is the author of the book Set Your Sails to Reach! A Mindful Approach to Envisioning Your Potential and Navigating Your Career now available at store.bookbaby.com and on Amazon. Millicent can be reached at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/millicentsimmelink   or msimmelink@careerlinkscounseling.com